Survivor
by csiphile
Summary: A case brings up bad memories for Sara. Background story. G/S. Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Survivor  
  
Author: CSIphile  
  
Rating/Spoilers: PG-13 and none  
  
Category: G/S casefile  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own em, other people do. Don't sue me.  
  
Summary: A new case brings up some bad memories for Sara. Some background on the character.  
  
Authors notes: This starts out light, but I swear it gets serious later. I need to give credit for the songs I used. The first is "Drive" by Incubus and the second is "So I Need You" by 3 doors down.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
She is listening to a CD, loudly, singing along to the lyrics, while starting to pack up boxes. The lyrics seem to fit her life perfectly at that moment "and I, I cant help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. Its driven me before, and it seems to have vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I've beginning to find I should be the one behind the wheel. Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes…" She has a lot on her mind, and the music helps her forget for a little while, forget what had happened, forget why she is thinking about leaving, forget who has forced her to even make that decision. Music was her diversion. The situation had become unbearable for her, so she decided to run, maybe not the best option, but it is the only one she has now. With her back to the door and the music up so loud, she doesn't even hear her door open, or the intruder enter, quietly closing and locking the door behind them. The next thing she knew, large hands had grabbed her around the waist and picked her up. Before she could fight back, or even get out a good scream she is tossed out the fourth floor window, through the glass, headfirst. She is now screaming and is only silenced when seconds later she hits the grass lawn with a sickening thud. Her neighbors heard the scream and in all the commotion, the attacker simply slid away, no one taking notice of the stranger. By the time the ambulance arrives, she is already dead.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
As Grissom walks down the hall to his office, he stops in mid-step and strains to listen to what sounds like music coming from one of the labs.  
  
"If that's Greg again…." He says quietly and walks away from his office and closer to the source of the sound.  
  
As he draws closer, he can also hear voices, two of them, laughing. Reaching the layout room Grissom sees Sara and Nick leaning over the table, trying desperately to put back together a large paned window for the current case they are working on, passed down from the day shift. Music is playing on the CD player behind them. Ecklies team had gotten a multiple homicide and had asked Grissom if they could take a simple suicide. He had agreed, and assigned Sara and Nick to the case. Grissom wonders where Warrick is, he has experience in this area and smiles to himself inwardly at the memory. That was a hard case for them, particularly Sara, he knew that she identified with the victim, they were similar people. Introverted, dedicated to work, not much personal contact with people. Hell Sara and the woman had been on the same mailing lists. He knew it bothered her, he isn't as clueless as everyone makes him out to be.  
  
Watching Sara and Nick, he realizes that Catherine was right, they are becoming a family, like it or not. Nick had obviously gotten over his initial infatuation with Sara, which Grissom was infinitely grateful for, and they now shared a comfortable brother/sister relationship. Together they pushed each other, always trying for that number one spot with Grissom, it can become annoying, but he has to admit, it really brought out the best in them, though sometimes the worst. Currently they are debating where one piece should go, he stops and quietly listens and watches them for a minute; Sara more than Nick.  
  
"Nick, will you look at that piece, it doesn't…."  
  
"Sara, will you just let me finish this, huh?"  
  
"Fine, but you are wrong." She says and crosses her arms as he gives her a dirty look and continues.  
  
Nick tries to put the piece in place, but it wont fit properly. Confused he looks around while Sara starts needling him.  
  
"I told you that didn't go there. Are you going to listen to me now?"  
  
"Nope." He says smugly and picks up another piece of their gigantic puzzle. Placing the two together, Nick gets them both to fit in the offending spot. Nick just looks up at Sara and smiles that Nicky grin at her.  
  
"Well then. Men are better at spatial tasks, you know." Sara says and starts looking for the next piece.  
  
"Oh no, you aren't getting off that easy girl, you were wrong weren't you?" Nick asks her in a teasing tone, mocking her.  
  
Sighing Sara looks at him exasperated "Fine, I was wrong, is that what you wanted to hear?"  
  
"Yep." He says and lightly punches her on the arm "Was that really so hard?"  
  
Sara flings him another nasty look and then smiles at him, "Noooo, can we finish now? Or are you going to continue this?"  
  
"I guess we should finish, but I was having such a good time." Nick says and starts laughing. Looking at him, Sara also breaks down into laughter.  
  
As Grissom watches this he wonders why he can't be that comfortable with Sara, Nick makes it look so easy and in one instant he is jealous of the younger man, he has tapped into a part of Sara Grissom rarely sees. Whenever Grissom and Sara talk to each other it always seems so serious, always regarding work, they had avoided emotional issues since her threatening to quit. Neither had mentioned the plant, it was given, accepted and that was it, no discussion. Though Grissom had taken Catherine's suggestion and was trying to interact with them all more, it was hard for him, he was used to being a private person. Interacting with others meant revealing things about him also, he was not accustomed to that, and he wasn't that great at it to boot. Looking back at Sara in the lab, she is leaning over the table, grabbing some glass, when she comes back to standing, she has started singing along with the music. He has to smile at that; she is finally starting to loosen up a bit, be herself around her co-workers.  
  
While the music had pulled Grissom in this direction, he had stopped hearing it until she starts singing, rather loudly at that.  
  
"If you could step into my head, tell me would you still know me  
  
If you woke up in my bed, tell me then would you hold me  
  
Or would you simply let it lie, leaving me to wonder why  
  
I can't get you out of this head I call mine And I will say  
  
Oh no I can't let you go, my little girl  
  
Because you're holding up my world,  
  
so I need you  
  
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk  
  
It's just a couple of the million things that I love about you  
  
So I need you So I need you  
  
So I need you So I need you  
  
And if I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge,  
  
tell me would you still follow me  
  
And if I made you mad today,  
  
tell me would you love me tomorrow? Please  
  
Or would you say that you don't care,  
  
and then leave me standing here  
  
Like the fool who is drowning in despair and screamin'  
  
Oh no I can't let you go, my little girl  
  
because you're holding up my world,  
  
so I need you  
  
Your imitation of my walk and the perfect way you talk  
  
It's just a couple of the million things that I love about you  
  
So I need you So I need you  
  
So I need you So I need you  
  
I'm on my own I'm on my own I'm on my own  
  
Oh no I can't let you go, my little girl  
  
Because you're holding up my world,  
  
so I need you  
  
  
  
As she is singing, Sara starts to dance a bit around the table, moving to the music as Nicky smiles at her. When she stops, she is at the end of the table looking straight at Grissom with a stricken look on her face. Nick fails to notice and starts clapping.  
  
"That was great Sara, you really should sing around here more often. Though 3 doors down? I am surprised." Nick tells her.  
  
"Yea" Grissom says from the doorway causing Nick to jump, "You sounded good. How's the window coming?"  
  
"It's going." She quietly replies, unsure how to behave after being caught by the boss, she knew his attitude about music in the lab. "We are almost done."  
  
"We would be done already if Sara would stop arguing with me." Nick says staring straight at her with a smile.  
  
Sara quickly smiles back "One time Nick, one time you were right, don't let it get to your head."  
  
Grissom again watches, feeling a pang of something in his heart. Was that jealously again? He quickly tamps the thought and feeling down and regards his two CSIs.  
  
"Well, keep it up then." He says and leaves the room. He is now thinking about the song Sara had been singing. He could only really remember two lines, one part that had hit him. He starting running it through his head, "Oh no I can't let you go, my little girl.  
  
Because you're holding up my world, so I need you." Sighing, Grissom heads back to his office, determined to finish his paperwork for the night.  
  
Unfortunately he can't get the brunette out of his head, or that song she was singing. Grissom shook his head and concentrated on the files in front of him. Next thing he knew Sara was standing in his office door.  
  
"Hey" She says to get his attention.  
  
"Hey, what's up?"  
  
"We got the window together, you want to come check it out?" She says, smiling at him but behind the smile is a twinge of darkness in her eyes.  
  
"Yep" He says and follows her out the office noticing that she seems to be in an extraordinarily good mood today, despite whatever he just saw in her eyes. Entering the layout room he looks at the pane and sighs.  
  
"Well looks like our vic was thrown through the window. Dammit, not a simple suicide. Well I guess Ecklie was wrong." Grissom says with an almost satisfied look on his face.  
  
"Nope." Sara and Nick say in unison. He looks at Sara, the darkness he noticed earlier more apparent.  
  
"Ok, well so much for the 'she fell out the window theory' which leaves us where?" He asks, anticipating a quick answer.  
  
"She was pushed." Sara says quietly.  
  
"Thrown is more like it." Nick says and looks down at the window. "If she was pushed or fell out a window, the point of impact would be bigger, her whole body making contact with the glass. Thrown you get what we have here, small POI middle of the window." Nick looks up at Grissom and gets a nod from the older man.  
  
"Excellent Nick. Check with the coroner, see if he managed to wade through the day shifts multiple and has gotten to our girl yet. If not tell him to hurry up, we have a murder now." Grissom tells them as he leaves the room.  
  
"Wonder why he didn't say anything about the music?" Sara asks, honestly confused as they walk down to autopsy.  
  
"Because you were singing… if that had been me or Greg or even Warrick in there doing what you were, we would be on scat patrol for the next month. You know Sara, for someone who is so smart, you really are dense." Nick says and shakes his head at her.  
  
"Nick, cut it out, there is nothing going on." Sara says and tries, unsuccessfully, not to blush at the implications of what Nick said. She didn't want to go down that road right now, that road currently has fork, and right now she didn't know which way to go. It confused her, and Sara Sidle didn't like being confused.  
  
"If you say so…" Nick tells her as he opens the autopsy bay door open for her and giving her the smallest of winks.  
  
"Hey David, what's the word?" Nick asks "You get to our girl."  
  
"The one that was thrown out the window?" David asks and is greeting with two surprised faces.  
  
"How'd you know that?" Sara inquires.  
  
"When I did the autopsy I made an educated guess, there were no wounds on the hands, only face and neck. If you fall out a window, usually you go hands first, leaving gashes where there was contact with the window. Your girl had no marks on her hands, they never touched the glass. Am I right?"  
  
"Yep. You have anything for us?" Nick asks and looks down at the body and thinks to himself what a waste, she was too young.  
  
"Nothing, the fall killed her. Instant, her neck snapped when she hit the ground."  
  
"Poor girl. She had no chance, none." Sara says quietly. Nick looks up and gives her a funny look at that comment.  
  
"Ok, thanks doc." Nick says as he and Sara leave.  
  
"Back to the dorm room?" Sara asks.  
  
"Yep, now we are looking for a person with a motive."  
  
"What motive do you have to kill a 19 year old college sophomore, she can't have that many enemies." Sara says and sighs following him out to the Tahoe.  
  
  
  
Tbc……… 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Survivor (ch 2)  
  
Author: CSIphile  
  
Disclaimers and everything same as the first chapter.  
  
Author Note: ** Indicates a diary/journal entry from out dead girl.  
  
  
  
Pushing open the door to the small dorm room, Nick takes in the piles of boxes stacked neatly on one wall. Moving closer he notes that all are marked with the contents.  
  
"Looks like she was moving." Nick says to no one as Sara is talking with the Resident Advisor.  
  
"According to the RA, she had dropped out of school." Sara says as she enters the room, causing Nick to jump slightly, taking a quick look around "she didn't say why, she just dropped and was moving home. She was an excellent student, well liked on the floor, volunteer, and was part of a sorority."  
  
"What would motivate you to suddenly leave school?" Nick says as he moves closer to the window in question and leans over enough to view down.  
  
"Lots of things make you want to run Nick." Sara says quietly and continues to look around. At the knowing tone in her voice, Nick turns to look at her, but she has already turned her back and is looking at the desk, fussing with the drawers. Nick is about to say something when Sara turns to face him, holding what looks like a journal.  
  
"Maybe our girl will be able to tell us who killed her." Sara says waving the journal and then bagging it.  
  
"Where did you find that?" Nick asks, curious as to how the day shift missed it. As far as he was aware, they had at least looked over the room.  
  
"It was jammed up into a space between the drawers in her desk. I can't believe Ecklies' people missed it, especially since there was no suicide note. Grissom will love that." Sara says, anger at the day shift apparent from her tone.  
  
Searching the rest of the dorm room yielded very little. Sara bags a few hairs and Nick prints the door handle, afraid of how many partials may be on it.  
  
On the drive back to the labs Sara is quiet, not saying a word, a 180 degree turn from that morning when she was singing and dancing. "Something is bothering her" Nick thought to himself. "How do I approach this without facing the wrath of Sara?' He looked over at her questioningly.  
  
"You ok?" He finally asks, deciding to take the direct approach.  
  
"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine Nick, sorry, just thinking." Sara tells him with no readable expression on her face.  
  
"Thinking about what?"  
  
She finally turns to look at him, a sad look on her face. "Nothing in particular, I suppose. Just thinking that sometimes the choices we make affect more than just us. Our victim, Grace, had decided to leave school. Why? What brought her to that decision, to make that choice? What couldn't she control? Because in the end, someone made the choice that she was better off dead than alive."  
  
Nick just nods at her, he can understand her thinking. He is actually surprised at the answer he received, he had been expecting a typical Sara 'Nothing' but was rewarded with a small glimpse into her thoughts. Didn't happen very frequently. When they get back to the lab, Nick heads off to do some background on the victim and see what prints he got off the door handle; and Sara decides to read the journal to see if they can get anything from that while Greg runs the hairs.  
  
Taking a seat at the table in the break room, Sara slips on gloves and opens the thick journal to the first page, it looked to her that the girl had been keeping it for a while.Her suspicions are confirmed on the first page.  
  
**I can't believe I am finally here. I have been looking forward to leaving Mom and Dad's house for years and now I am at college, on my own, even if they are only 20 miles away. My roommate is a little weird though, but we seem to get along. Oh so many things to talk about, classes start tomorrow, but today I have to finish unpacking…**  
  
Sara has managed to read up to the summer between freshman and sophomore year before Nick interrupts her.  
  
"Hey, anything out of the journal?" He asks and sits across from her.  
  
"Nothing yet, but I haven't started this year. You get anything?"  
  
"Not much. The prints were too smudged to be useful. Checked her transcripts, called some teachers, the sister came by to ID the body so I talked to her briefly. She was an excellent student, loved school according to the sister, Alison. She had no idea why Grace wanted to drop. According to Alison, Grace just called home one Sunday and said she was leaving school and asked if she could come live with her. Grace was supposed to move the day after she died."  
  
"Curious, something happened obviously. Didn't you say she was in a sorority? Maybe they might know." Sara suggests.  
  
"Good idea, I volunteer to go talk to them." Nick says with a huge grin on his face.  
  
That elicited a smile from Sara "Yea, I am sure you do, I think I better come with you, wouldn't want you to get distracted." She says in a light tone. She quickly makes note of the page she is on in the journal and slips it back into the evidence bag. As they are getting up, Grissom comes into the room, out of breath from running.  
  
"Hey man, you ok?" Nick asks.  
  
"Nick…the DA needs you right now. Somehow they managed to screw up the evidence in the Dawkins trial. They need you to review the evidence so you can go to court tomorrow and do damage control." He tells the younger man.  
  
"Oh man, I am going to miss talking to sorority girls."  
  
"Sorry for your luck." Sara says and tries not to smile at the crestfallen look on his face.  
  
"Guess you get to go alone." He tells her and gets up, heading to the door.  
  
"Not alone, I will be joining you on the case Sara." Grissom says smiling at Sara. "When you are done Nick, come join us."  
  
"Oh that should be fun, good luck." Nick says and walks to the locker room.  
  
"What was he talking about sorority girls?" Grissom asks her once Nick is gone.  
  
"We were just about to talk to some of the victims sorority sisters." Sara says and fills him in on what little they had up to that point.  
  
"Sounds like a good place to start. That and the journal. Getting anything there?" He asks as they head toward the Tahoe.  
  
"Nothing yet, she wrote a lot, almost everyday, it's taking a while to read through. I haven't started this school year yet." She says while opening the passenger door and getting in.  
  
Delta Gamma Delta Sorority House  
  
After much confusion, and explaining who they were twice, Grissom and Sara manage to track down the sororities' President and are talking to her in the houses' enormous kitchen area.  
  
"I don't understand." The girl was sniffles. "Grace was one of the most popular girls here."  
  
"Miss Maxwell, can you tell us if she was having trouble with anyone? A boyfriend, co-worker." Grissom asks.  
  
"You can call me Devanie. No, no one, she had broken up with a guy I guess about 8 weeks ago, I don't know why, they seemed to be doing great. Seemed to be an amicable break up. He's in our brother fraternity."  
  
"What's his name and the name of the fraternity?" Sara asks.  
  
"Kevin Lasho. He is in Sigma Tau Epsilon fraternity. Their house is on 3rd Ave." She says, almost ready to cry again. "I…. I just cant believe this happened, please let me know if anyone here can help."  
  
"Devanie, who was the closest to her in the sorority? She made have confided in them more." Sara asks feeling sorry for the girl who looks honestly devastated.  
  
"There was her big sister, Hope. They seemed pretty close, though lately they haven't really seen much of each other."  
  
"Where can we find Hope now?" Grissom asks.  
  
"Umm, I think she is in class, hang on a second." Devanie says and yells into the other room about Hope's schedule, the response comes back quickly.  
  
"She is in government class for another 30 minutes. Uh, the Markham building, south side of campus." The disembodies voice replies.  
  
"Thanks." Devanie says and turns back to Sara and Grissom. "You get that?"  
  
"Yes, thank you Devanie." Grissom says as they get up from the table and leave, Devanie following close behind. Once they get to the front door Grissom opens it and lets Sara pass through.  
  
"Please, whatever we can do to help, let us know. We all miss Gracie." The young woman tells them through tears.  
  
"We will." Grissom says and closes the door behind him.  
  
Twenty minutes later they found the building and armed with the room number and a description of Hope Masterson, they wait for the class to let out. Standing in the hall, Grissom watches Sara as she reads the bulletin boards, a smile on her face.  
  
"Something interesting?" He asks her, approaching and standing a little closer than probably necessary. She didn't seem to mind the violation of her personal space.  
  
"No, not really. Just being here reminds me of college. I loved my four years at Harvard." She smiles at him, a genuine one, filled with the memories of being somewhere she felt she truly belonged. "I never wanted to leave. I have never been happier in my entire life then I was there. You know…. really, truly feeling like you belong somewhere. I had never felt that before, and not really since." A distant memory clouds her eyes briefly and then its gone, Grissom isn't even sure he saw it.  
  
"You don't feel like you belong here? In Vegas?" He asks, confused. He thought she liked her job and the people.  
  
"It's not the same Grissom. I love my job and I love the people, even though I started off on a bad foot. I can't describe it." She faces him, wanting him to understand.  
  
"As long as you like being here. I don't want to think I brought you here to hate it." He tells her, concerned.  
  
"No, Grissom. I could never hate it. Not with you here." She quietly tells him. Just as he is about to respond the class lets out and they both turn to the now open door, searching the mass of students. As the last of the students leave, Sara nudges Grissom in the side, indicating a girl who had just walked out. He nods and they approach her.  
  
"Hope Masterson?" Sara asks.  
  
"Yes" She says and looks at the two CSIs warily. Quickly they introduce themselves.  
  
"Oh, yes. I am sorry. Not used to people waiting for me outside class."  
  
"No problem." Grissom starts "We just have a few questions."  
  
"Sure, anything."  
  
"As far as you know, was anyone bothering Grace? Following or harassing her?" Grissom lead the questioning with Sara taking careful notes.  
  
"No, no one."  
  
"Had something happened in school?"  
  
"No, she loved it here. It was her life." At that comment Grissom stole a quick look at Sara who had a look of understanding etched into her features.  
  
"What about the boyfriend she just broke up with? Did he take it well?"  
  
"He didn't have a choice. Gracie found out he was cheating on her and that was it, she broke it off the next day." Sara looked up at the younger woman, there was something in the tone of her voice.  
  
Sara jumped in with a question "Do you know who he was cheating with?" Grissom just looked at her.  
  
"No, I have no clue. If you will excuse me, I have to get to the library for study group. If you need anything else, please come by the house." She said and walks down the hall, not giving them much time to respond.  
  
"It was her." Sara says with some confidence.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Grace caught her boyfriend cheating with her 'big sister', didn't you see the look on her face when I asked the question?" At his incredulous look Sara continues "She was fine until we asked about the boyfriend, then she started shifting and acting anxious. I bet it was her."  
  
"Good. I think you are right." He says and turns away from her, heading down the hall to the Tahoe.  
  
"You think I am…Grissom, you were testing me there weren't you?" Sara asks as she quickly catches up with him. All she gets in return is a grin  
  
tbc………….. 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Survivor  
  
Author: csiphile  
  
Disclaimers: Do I really need to repeat myself?? I didn't think so..look at the first chapter if you must.  
  
Author Notes: BIG thanks to all those who reviewed, keep em coming!! Sorry it took me so long to post this last chapter, life has been such an intrusion lately! I promise to not do that again!  
  
*** Indicates part of the victims journal.  
  
  
  
Upon mutual agreement they decide to call it a night and return to the lab. Since it is approaching eleven, they would try to catch the boyfriend in the morning to interview him. In the Tahoe, on the way to the lab, Sara is lost in her own thoughts when Grissom suddenly asks her a question, breaking her concentration.  
  
"What? I'm sorry Grissom."  
  
"I said why didn't you finish grad school?" He asks, curious, since she had obviously enjoyed her first four years there. That and not many people left grad school at Harvard.  
  
She just stares at him, unsure how to answer, give him the rote answer she had memorized or the truth. Sara elected for the former. "I got more interested in Forensics and solving puzzles. So I went to work at the San Fran PD." It was partially true. She had wanted to solve puzzles, but there had been a larger catalyst for her leaving, one that only she knew, and if Sara had anything to do about it, it would stay that way.  
  
Grissom looks at her as they come to a stoplight. There is something in the way she answered him that rang not true. It is almost as if she is reading from a script, and has given that same answer hundreds of times. He decides to drop it for now, it's not that important, and the look on her face says back off, which is something he doesn't get frequently from her. The rest of the ride goes by in silence as Grissom drives and Sara looks out the window, lost in thought again.  
  
Sara gets out at the lab and immediately heads for the journal to try and prove her theory that Grace's sorority sister was the woman her boyfriend was cheating with. Before she can make it though, Greg intercepts her in the hall.  
  
"Sara. There you are."  
  
"Greg. How's it going?" She asks him, anxious to get back to the journal, instinct telling her part of the answer is there.  
  
"Good, good. You know, Nick and Warrick are taking bets if Ecklie's team is getting busted for missing that journal you found. Want in?" Greg seems to be overjoyed at the thought of the day shift getting chewed out for once.  
  
"No thanks."  
  
"Well, in that case, I have some of that hair processed. Want the results?"  
  
Sara looks at him with an expression of annoyance and sighs. Greg is a good guy, sometimes he just takes too long to get to the point. "Please." She says and follows him into his part of the lab.  
  
"Ok, you found seven hairs. Luckily all had the tag, so I could run DNA. There are two females and one male that shed all of them. I ran the male, no hits off CODIS. One female was your victim, no big surprise there and the last female sample is running as we speak."  
  
"Ok, thanks Greg. Please page me as soon as you get that last DNA done." She smiles at him.  
  
"No problem. Anytime." He says to her back as she leaves.  
  
She grabs the journal from the evidence box and finds a quiet spot in the lab to start reading again.  
  
  
  
**I met the perfect guy tonight. Kevin Lasho, handsome, funny, smart, likes the same things I do. The same movies, books. He understands me. I met him at one of my sorority functions with our brother fraternity. I never thought I would like talking to a frat boy, they hate being called that, but he was different. All the girls wanted to talk to him, but he spent the entire night ignoring them and talking to me instead. I don't know why he doesn't have a girlfriend. My parents wouldn't be pleased though, he is in grad school and 5 years older than I am. I cant get him out of my head, but I do need to sleep, midterms tomorrow. I agreed to dinner with him this weekend.**  
  
  
  
Sara is so engrossed in the book that she doesn't even notice when Grissom comes in and stands there staring at her. He watches her read, a small smile crossing her face and he wonders what she is thinking.  
  
"Sara."  
  
She looks up at him quickly with a confused expression. "Oh hey. Didn't see you there. Need something?" He can tell she is distracted by the journal and debates asking about it.  
  
"What did Greg say?"  
  
"Oh, sorry 'bout that." She looks at him sheepishly, puts down the book and relays the information to him.  
  
"Well, maybe we need to ask the boyfriend for a sample tomorrow. See how willing he is." He smiles and sits across the table from her.  
  
"Yes. Ok" Sara says and looks back at the journal picking it up to start to reading again.  
  
"Anything in there?" He asks and she looks up again, obviously annoyed with the continued interruption.  
  
"Not yet. She just met the boyfriend, Kevin, at a fraternity party. Like most 19 year olds, she thought he was the guy for her. Suave, mature..perfect." Grissom is stunned by the vehemence in her voice at the last part of the sentence. "He snowed her into thinking that and then cheated on her."  
  
Grissom didn't know what to say to her. He didn't want to accuse her of becoming attached to the victim, he has tried that before and isn't in the mood for the fireworks. By now she has gone back to the journal and is ignoring him, and again he just watches her. Sara's sudden obsession with the victim's journal raises all kinds of red flags for him, but he decides to not say anything now. He'll imply keep an eye on her and hope it's just Sara putting her all into the work, though deep down he knows something else is going on.  
  
He leaves to see if he can find Nick, who had reappeared while they were doing their interviews. Casting one last glance at Sara, who doesn't even acknowledge him, he walks out the door.  
  
Walking back to the office, Grissom runs into Nick in the hall.  
  
"Hey boss. I'm back. The DA needs me for some testimony tomorrow and hopefully that's it. They did a good job of letting the defense screw up the evidence, don't ask me how though. I thought it was pretty self explan…." Mid-sentence Nick realizes that Grissom is only half listening to him. "Meanwhile I have decided that being a CSI isn't really me. I have decided to become a roller coaster operator at New York, New York."  
  
Grissom finally acknowledges the younger man "Really? I always thought you would make a better circus clown. I am listening Nick. All the time."  
  
Grissom fills Nick in on what they have and asks him to see if Greg has anything on that last hair. Walking down to the hair and fiber lab, Nick passes one of the smaller layout rooms and sees Sara there, quietly reading the dead girls journal. He takes in the distressed look on her face, she is near tears, and decides to stop and talk to her. Before he can say a word though, Greg comes down the hall.  
  
"Nick! Hey, have you seen Sara?" Nick takes one more worried look at her and turns to the lab tech.  
  
"Yeah, but she's busy right now. What do you need?" He says as he heads Greg off at the pass.  
  
"I just have these DNA results and I thought I would hand deliver them to her." Greg says with a big grin on his face.  
  
"Why don't you give them to me, and I will get them to her?" Nick says and reaches out to take the sheet from Greg's hands.  
  
Quickly pulling the results back, Greg eyes Nick "No thanks, I can give them to her myself."  
  
"Look man, give it up will you? She won't go out with you." Nick tells him, trying not to be mean about it.  
  
"Why not? We're both single, attractive people who enjoy each others company." Greg says.  
  
"Greg, let me break it down for you. Sara isn't interested in you. She is interested in someone else, ok?" he tells Greg and puts an arm around his shoulders, leading him away from Sara.  
  
"Oh. But who?" Greg asks, genuinely curious. At Nick's expression, he simply nods his head, hands over the results and walks off.  
  
Nick shakes his head at the lab tech whose fantasy he probably just destroyed. Turning back to Sara, he notices she has gone from near tears to crying, not openly, but he can see the wet tracks running down her cheeks. As he is debating whether to interrupt her, Grissom comes down the hall from the same direction Greg just left. Nick quietly moves away from the door and intercepts him.  
  
"Hey Grissom."  
  
"Nick." Grissom says and looks at the younger man, who is wearing an expression of concern.  
  
Looking down in his hands, Nick acknowledges the test results and hands them over to Grissom. "Here's the rest of the DNA results. Greg just finished." As Grissom takes the sheet, Nick looks over his shoulder at Sara, who is quietly wiping the tears from her face, only to have them replaced by new ones. Nicks head swivel doesn't go unnoticed by Grissom.  
  
"Nick. What's going on?" He inquires.  
  
"Huh, oh nothing. What does the DNA say?" He asks and turns his full attention back to Grissom.  
  
Grissom gives Nick a funny expression of disbelief and then looks down.  
  
"Well that's interesting. The other female DNA is from Hope Masterson; she was in CODIS. Is Sara still in the layout room?"  
  
"Yea, I think so. But Grissom, she was crying a minute ago." Nick tells him hesitantly.  
  
"What?" His voice is a little louder than usual for Grissom and the look on his face tells Nick that he is not pleased.  
  
"She is reading that journal and I think she was crying."  
  
Before Grissom can even respond to Nick they are both treated to the sound of Sara yelling and of a book being slammed down.  
  
tbc………………. 


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Survivor  
  
Author: CSIphile  
  
Disclaimers: Same as always, I don't own em..blah blah blah  
  
Big thanks to everyone who has reviewed thus far, it keeps my muse going!  
  
  
  
  
  
**He hit me. I can't believe it. He apologized and this morning I had flowers. He was sincere in the apology. It was a one time thing, I am sure it won't happen again.**  
  
Sara is not terribly surprised to read this. Up to now, Kevin had practiced verbal and emotional abuse to break Grace down, make her essentially his slave. He got away with anything "Maybe even murder," Sara thought to herself. While the emotional abuse upset her, when she read that part, when the physical abuse started, the dam broke loose and tears that she had been holding trickled down her cheeks. Looking up briefly, she notices Nick and Greg talking outside the room, they don't seem to notice her. She wipes her eyes and continues reading.  
  
  
  
**He did it again. It's been 3 weeks since the first time, I thought it was a freak thing. I thought…nothing, I guess I was wrong again. I am always wrong it seems like. Maybe he was right to punch me, maybe I cant do things right. He's always careful about where he hits me, never anywhere someone would see, and never hard enough to break anything, I am grateful for that. I haven't told anyone, I won't. They will try to convince me to leave, I don't know if I can, I don't know if I can live without him, no that's not it…I am terrified of leaving. I have a hard time keeping this journal, I told him I stopped writing in it, but I can't. If anything happens to me, this is all anyone will have.**  
  
  
  
"GODDAMN him." She practically screams, unaware of Nick and now Grissom standing just outside the door. She is furious and is pretty sure her blood pressure is now through the roof. Quickly she slams the book closed, wipes her eyes again, and gets up to walk off the anger that is building inside her.  
  
Both men look at each other first and then enter the lab slowly, knowing an upset Sara is a dangerous Sara. Upon entering, they see her. Sara has gotten up and is pacing back and forth, her hands on her lower back, oblivious to them. Grissom looks over and sees the book lying on the table, now closed for the first time in hours. Suddenly Sara increases the speed in her pacing and starts swearing under her breath. Grissom takes a close look at her and notices the drying tear tracks and that she is fighting back fresh tears as she walks.  
  
"Sara?" He says quietly. She stops her pacing and looks up at him, something unidentifiable in her eyes. "Everything ok?"  
  
"No Grissom. Everything is NOT ok." She responds harshly to him, taking out her anger on the first person she sees, Grissom. "The boyfriend killed her. He threw her out that window and didn't think twice about it, I'm sure." As she is talking, Grissom can sense her agitation increasing. Quickly he turns to Nick and asks him to leave. Nick gives him a dubious look, nods and leaves them alone; he doesn't want to be Grissom at that moment.  
  
"Sara. You can't decide that based on emotion. We have to go by evidence, and right now, all we have is DNA." He says trying to calm her down.  
  
He had never seen her this angry, never, not the Shelton case, not the Adler case. The intensity of her rage was emanating from every pore. He is frightened for her, that this time she wont let her emotions go and will burn out. She seems to be on the verge of losing it.  
  
"I know Grissom, I know to my core that he did it. Gracie was terrified of him. Look, look at this sentence," she says and grabs the discarded journal, quickly flipping to the page she wants and shows him. **If anything happens to me, this is all anyone will have**. He reads and notices the hands that are holding open the book are shaking violently.  
  
"Sara." He says and takes the book away from her, placing it on the table. When he looks at her face again, she has tears brimming her brown eyes. He takes her trembling hands and places them between his steady ones. "Sara, if you think he did it, then I trust you. But you need to make decisions based on facts. Something we can prove. Ok?"  
  
"Grissom, for months he has been terrorizing her emotionally, telling her she wasn't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. Making her think he was the only person who could ever love her; that she would never find anyone else and had to settle for him. She couldn't escape, and when she tried, when she was finally free, he exacted the kind of control she feared; he killed her. I know he did...I just know it." As she said the last part of the sentence whatever energy she had drained out of her. Grissom felt her forehead come to rest on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. While he wanted to press her about her behavior, at the same time it looked like she had been through enough, and he had a sinking feeling about the answer.  
  
He was enjoying the feel of her soft breath through his t-shirt, but he didn't want someone to come by and see her like this, and he knew Sara wouldn't either.  
  
"Hey" He says and lifts her head. "We have a match on the second female DNA. Hope Masterson."  
  
Blinking quickly to clear the tears, Sara looks at him with a small smile and steps back from him. "Thank you." She says quietly and picks up the results from where he left it on the table.  
  
"Huh, but is that so unusual considering they were in the same sorority?" She asks, getting her emotions into check for the moment.  
  
"Probably not, but you never know." He smiles at her.  
  
"Yeah, you never do. Do you suppose the journal is enough to get a warrant for the boyfriend's DNA?"  
  
"No, probably not. We will have to ask really nice." Looking at the clock he makes a quick decision. "Come on." He says and lightly grabs her upper arm, guiding her out of the lab.  
  
"Uh Grissom, where are we going?" She asks him, confused by his behavior.  
  
"Just go grab your jacket and meet me at the Tahoe will you?" He says exasperated at her.  
  
"Ok." She replies and heads to the locker room.  
  
Grissom finds Nick in the break room getting coffee. "Hey, Sara and I are going to question the boyfriend, be back in a while. Can you write up a warrant for Lashos DNA and see if we can get it cleared?"  
  
"Grissom, its 6 am, do you seriously think he will be up?" Nick says with a laugh.  
  
"We're running an errand first. Hopefully we will have DNA to match to that hair when we get back, if you can get me that warrant."  
  
"Sure. What am I basing the warrant on?" Nick asks, thinking to himself that Grissom is pushing this case for Sara, again.  
  
"Journal entries made by the victim indicating long term abuse." He says and walks out of the station to find Sara standing next to the Tahoe, looking impatient.  
  
"You know, when you say 'meet me at the Tahoe' that kinda implies you will be there first." Grissom smiles at her tone, Sara was returning to herself, if a slightly muted version.  
  
Once they were on the road Sara asks again where they are headed.  
  
"Breakfast. I'm hungry, I'm sure you are too and we have a bit before we can interrogate Kevin." He tells her, his eyes never leaving the road. She says nothing and continues to stare out the window.  
  
Grissom pulls into the small diner that they usually go to as a group and looks at her. She hasn't moved a muscle to get out of the vehicle. She is just staring out the window, looking at nothing in particular. He wonders what has gotten into her, and hopes to get the answer soon.  
  
Twenty minutes later they are seated in a small booth across from each other, both drinking coffee and eating their respective meals. They eat in comfortable silence until Grissom decides to ask the question that has been on his mind for a while. Part of the reason he brought her here is the hope she will be freer with her answer without everyone else around.  
  
"Sara. Why is this case bothering you so much?" He starts slowly.  
  
She carefully considers his question before answering. "I don't like it when women are taken advantage of; especially by their significant others. You trust that person, with your life usually and they take that trust, twist it around and use it against you. To make you passive, to get an ego trip out of destroying who you are… who you were. It angers me, Grissom. You have cases that bother you also, remember the baby?"  
  
Grissom looked at her astonished, not only had she answered him, she had done it without being indigent about it and without him having to pry it out. He had noticed however, her use of the word your instead of their. It made the story more personal. He is now surer than ever that she had first hand knowledge of the subject; that distressed him. He has always seen Sara as strong and independent; he can't picture her letting anyone do that.  
  
Looking down at his watch, he notices that it's time for them to head to the fraternity house and see if they can catch Kevin. He quickly pays the bill and they grab their coats and head to the Tahoe. She doesn't say a word the entire ride, only stares out the window. He is now more concerned then ever.  
  
Arriving at the house, they walk up to the front porch and ring the doorbell. When no one answers, Grissom rings again and knocks. Finally a young kid, barely 20 by Grissom's guess answers the door half dressed.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Is Kevin Lasho here? We're from the crime lab." Grissom asks.  
  
"Uhhhhh, I think so. Hang on a sec." He says and invites them in.  
  
Grissom and Sara stand in the large foyer area and wait while the kid looks for their suspect. Finally he comes back.  
  
"He's coming now."  
  
"Thanks," Sara says and for the first time the younger man notices her, and slowly runs his eyes up her body and smiles at her. Sara gives him her best 'back off' look and the smile on the man's face quickly drops. Grissom laughs inside at this exchange. Sara really does know how to take care of herself. Which just serves to confuse him more about how she would get involved with an abuser. A larger man coming down the stairs towards them shakes Grissom from this line of thought.  
  
"Hi, I'm Kevin." He says and shakes both of their hands.  
  
"Kevin, I assume you know why we are here?"  
  
"Gracie." He says quietly. "I can't believe what happened. I heard you guys think it's a homicide."  
  
"Yes we do. When was the last time you were in the victims dorm room?" Grissom asks.  
  
"Never. She usually came here or we met at her sorority house. There was no privacy in her dorm. I didn't like it." He says and smiles at them. Sara instantly doesn't like Kevin and is more certain than ever he was involved.  
  
"Kevin, do you mind giving us a blood sample to compare to a hair we found at the scene?"  
  
"Yeah, I do. Don't you need a warrant for that?" Kevin's friendly demeanor had shifted quickly to the defensive. At that moment Sara's cell phone rings.  
  
"Sidle." She says and walks away from the men. Grissom is watching her as she returns with a huge grin on her face.  
  
"On its way." Is all she says.  
  
"That would be our warrant. Why don't you make yourself comfy?" Grissom responds coolly towards the man who sighs and takes a seat in the living room. Grissom asks him a few more cursory questions when Nick and Brass arrive, warrant in hand to draw blood. Brass hands over the warrant for Lasho to look at, while Sara opens her kit and draws a needle.  
  
"Push up the sleeve on your shirt please and make a fist." Sara tells him. He just glares at her, but complies. With doctor like precision, Sara draws a vial of his blood, marks it and places everything back in her case, locking it shut with authority.  
  
"Thanks." She says sarcastically.  
  
"Hope you know you are looking at the wrong person." He yells at them as they walk out the front door.  
  
"I don't think so." Sara tells him and closes the door behind her, shooting him a look that says she knows what he did.  
  
  
  
tbc……………….. 


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Survivor  
  
Author: csiphile  
  
Disclaimer: see first chapter  
  
Notes: Sorry this took so long guys, FF went down and then I haven't had a chance to post the rest. So here is a big chunk and maybe if I get some nice reviews I will sent more very soon! Kidding, I will send it anyway, but the reviews would be nice too!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Before Grissom can get two words out at the lab Sara grabs the vial and takes it to Greg for comparison against the one male hair they found. She knows it's not much to go on, but hopes the DNA match will lead them to stronger evidence. Sara quickly finds Greg and puts him to work on the DNA, asking him to page her when he has the results. Leaving the lab, Sara runs into Grissom in the hall, literally.  
  
"Oh, sorry." She says and looks up from her thoughts at the person standing in front of her. He is looking at her with concern filling his familiar blue eyes.  
  
"No problem. Greg working the DNA?"  
  
"Yep. Should be done soon I hope, then we can at least question him officially as a suspect."  
  
"Sara" He starts slowly "you know that a hair is circumstantial at best, it may get us an interview and a warrant for his apartment, but that's it, it won't convict him."  
  
"I know." She says quietly "I know, I just want to get him so bad Grissom, he did it, I can feel it."  
  
He doesn't know what to say to her, so they just stand there, staring at each other. Grissom wants to use the opportunity to ask Sara about what in the journal set her off earlier, but the sad look on her face tells the story. Before he can say anything, a lab tech walking through the hall gently bumps into him, pushing him even farther into Sara personal space, he feels comfortable there, like it is where he belongs. Never breaking eye contact, Sara can feel the electricity when Grissom lightly touches her bare arm to steady himself. Upon regaining balance, Grissom moves neither closer to her, or away, nor does he remove his hand from her upper arm. He can smell her shampoo, something fruity, that surprises him for some reason.  
  
Coming around the corner he is looking for Grissom, and what he sees only confirms what Nick had told him. They were standing what seemed to be impossibly close to each other, they were practically one person. He had one hand on her arm, and they were just staring at each other, oblivious to everything around them, including him. From a distance he can see the electricity they produce around each other, it almost glowed. Sighing, Greg turns and walks back to the lab to wait for Sara's test results, resigned to the fact that she truly did belong to Grissom, whether they where willing to admit it or not.  
  
Before the moment gets out of control, Grissom reluctantly moves away from her, never breaking eye contact.  
  
"Ummm, let me know what happens with the DNA." He says nervously. He knew she felt the connection they had, but did they want to act on it is the question of the day.  
  
"Yea, I will." She sensed his confusion and chose to ignore it for now. They were at work, this wasn't the place or the time to act on any feelings they may have.  
  
"You going to the DNA lab?" He asks her.  
  
"Uh, yea. I will sit on Greg until I get the results." She told him, even if it was a little lie. She is planning on going to the lab, after she reads more in Gracie's journal. Sara just knew that would bother Grissom, so she chose not to mention it.  
  
"Good, good." He says and instantly knows what she is up to from the look on her face, but decides not to mention it, figuring she can handle herself. Sara suddenly breaks eye contact, slides past him into the hall, and heads toward DNA. Once she rounds the corner, Sara stops momentarily and takes a deep breath to get herself together, Grissom standing that close had rattled her more than she would like to admit. While she wanted something more personal with him, and had for a while, until that moment in the hall, she wasn't sure if either of them would act on their mutual feelings. Shaking her head, Sara focuses on the task at hand, and heads to the evidence locker to get the journal out.  
  
He watches her go and wonders what came over him. He is her supervisor, but at the same time, the feelings he had toward her were powerful. More so than with anyone he had ever been with. She is his equal, his friend, his colleague and his soulmate, he is sure of that now. What he isn't sure of is when something will happen, though he knows its inevitable. Casting one last glance toward the hallway she disappeared down, he turns the other way and heads for his office.  
  
Sara pulls the book out of the box and looks at the cover closely, it is made of brown leather and in the middle is the victims initials engraved on a small nickel colored plaque. With latex covered hands, she carefully fingers the letters and tries not to let certain memories invade her thoughts. Walking out of evidence, Sara wanders into the layout room again to read. Finding that last terrifying sentence, she continues to read.  
  
**I don't know what to do now. I am terrified of him, if I leave he will kill me, I am sure of it. But I cant live my life like this anymore. Yesterday he beat me where there was exposed skin, he was so mad. I don't even know why honestly, I must have done something. I couldn't go to classes, my arms are so black and blue, I don't want to have to explain what's going on. I don't know how long I can do this for, my sister is beginning to suspect something I think. Maybe I should save him the trouble and kill myself, then at least I go on my terms, not his.**  
  
Sara can feel her blood start to boil after reading this. She has to stop reading momentarily in order to get control, before she throws the book across the room and destroys evidence. Taking another deep breath, she looks back down at the pages, making note that Grace's hand writing is becoming more erratic as time goes by. Before she can start to read again, Sara's pager goes off. Looking down at the LED display, she jumps out of the chair, journal in hand, and heads off to find Greg. Sara meets up with Grissom just outside of the DNA lab, he makes note of the journal in her hand, but says nothing to her about it.  
  
She only realizes that she is still carrying the journal when Grissom looks down at her hands, and mentally chastises herself for forgetting to stop by evidence on the way here. As they enter the lab together, Sara waits for Grissom to say something to her and is surprised when he doesn't.  
  
"Hey you're here at the same time. You guys have telepathy with each other or what?" Greg says to them. After witnessing the exchange in the hall he has come to terms with the fact he and Sara will never be.  
  
Grissom and Sara just exchange strange looks and then return their attention to the lab tech.  
  
"What do you have Greg?" Sara asks her tone a level below annoyed.  
  
"Well, we have a winner. The male mystery hair belongs to one Kevin Lasho." He says with a grin on his face.  
  
Sara immediately looks up at Grissom and he notices the smile on her face. They have something, a small something, but it's a start.  
  
"Sara, don't get your hopes up. Her boyfriends hair in her dorm room is not unusual by any means." He says carefully.  
  
"I know, but based on his own testimony that he never went to her dorm room, that has to at least be enough to bring him in and search his apartment. Right?"  
  
"Let me talk to Brass and Mobley, ok? I want you to sit tight until I let you know." He tells her as they leave the lab.  
  
"Ok. Thanks Grissom." She says and give him that grin she saves just for him. He nods and heads down the hall to convince Brass to haul Kevin in for questioning.  
  
Sara looks down at the book again and heads back to layout to finish reading. By the infrequent date stamps in the journal, and occasional references to current events, she figures she is about 3 days before Grace was killed. Settling back into the chair she had occupied earlier, Sara opens the book and continues again. She reads a few pages, with nothing of interest until she gets to the last paragraph Gracie Roberts ever wrote, on the day she died.  
  
**It feels like a weight has been lifted. I left him, I am going home for a while. Get some order in my life and then decide if I want to come back. It was hard, I just packed up what I had at his place when he wasn't there and I left. No one understands. I know that he was seeing Hope at the same time. It's not her fault, he manipulates people into doing what he wants them to do. I don't blame her, though I did try and warn her, she just got angry with me, said if I couldn't make him happy, she could. I tried, I really did, she wouldn't listen. I am sure once I am out of his life, he will start beating her too. He doesn't give up easily, that's for sure. I will miss school and my friends, but I made this choice for me. I saw him following me today, I know it was him. I will be happy when I am 200 miles from this place and I cant see him everyday. I think he has been following me for days now, it scares me.**  
  
Sara quietly shut the journal, wiping the tears from her eye. She knew Kevin Lasho killed Grace, she didn't know why, obsession maybe, but he did. Sara looked at the cover again and then noticed she is no longer alone in the room; Grissom is standing in the door, watching her, with a concerned expression on his face. She gives him a wan smile and places the journal in the evidence bag again, this time avoiding eye contact with him.  
  
"Sara.." He starts and advances on her, quickly moving to her side.  
  
"There wasn't much else useful except Kevin was following her the last few days, she saw him that day actually. Maybe that will help." She says softly while fumbling with the evidence bag.  
  
"Sara." He starts again, and takes the bag from her. "Sara, look at me. Brass is fetching Lasho to interrogate. When he comes back though, I don't want you in the room."  
  
That got just the reaction he was expecting "Grissom! Its my case too, I deserve to be in there." Her eyes flashed with anger at him.  
  
"Sara, I have not taken you off the case despite the fact you are obviously emotionally attached. Don't force me to do it now. You can watch, but you are not going in there. Are we understood?" His tone of voice told her he was deathly serious, and he is right, she shouldn't have been on this case.  
  
"Fine." She responds shortly.  
  
"Good, I will let you know when he gets here." She just nods at him and leaves the room, leaving him holding the journal in the evidence bag.  
  
Sara has been sitting the break room for twenty minutes, silently, moving only when the position she was in becomes uncomfortable. Nick had been watching her for the last five of those twenty. Concern for his friend evident on his face. Everyone knew about Sara's habit of getting emotionally involved. As of late she had been able to hold those emotions in check, but this case had done some serious damage to the tenuous hold she had. He entered the room and approached the couch she was perched on from behind.  
  
"Sara?" She almost jumped out of the position she was in when his voice broke the silence.  
  
"Nick. God damn, don't do that." She said, turned in position and looked at him, a distant expression on her face.  
  
"Sorry. Are you ok? You have been sitting here for who knows how long, staring into space." He walked around the couch and sat on the table in front of it, so they were now facing each other.  
  
"Yea. I am fine, just waiting for Brass to come back with our suspect."  
  
"Sara, if you need to talk to someone, you know you can come to me right?" He asks her, knowing Sara can be as fiercely private as Grissom, but takes the chance.  
  
Sara looks at Nick and has to smile, he really is a good guy, she can see why he's the people person of the group. "Thank you Nick, but I will be ok." She smiles at him and places one hand on his that is resting on his knee. "I appreciate the concern though."  
  
"Sara..just remember I am here if you need me." Nick says and gets up, still worried, but at least she knows she can come to him. Sara truly has become the little sister he never had as a kid, and he feels protective of her. Nick hated to see anyone in pain, emotional or otherwise, that is part of the reason he took this job, to ease the victims families minds. As he leaves the room he looks at the back of her head and is jolted when she suddenly moves out of position, and grabs her pager.  
  
Sara read her message, got up, and brushes past Nick on the way to interrogation. Kevin Lasho is here.  
  
tbc....... 


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Survivor  
  
Author: csiphile  
  
Disclaimers, ect are on the first chapter.  
  
Notes: Big thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, please keep it up! The muse loves it! I am hoping to have the whole thing posted by the end of the weekend, but RL may intervene so don't flog me if it takes longer. (  
  
On with the show..  
  
  
  
  
  
Entering the observation room set up next to interrogation, Sara looks at Grace Roberts killer. She knew he did it, she knew with every cell in her body. The problem is they have very little to convict him on, hopefully he will spill something during the interrogation. Sara doesn't even notice when Nick enters the room and stands next to her a few minutes after they start talking to Kevin, who predictably, has his attorney present. Nothing of interest is revealed for the first few minutes when Grissom asks if Kevin knows how one of his hairs got into her dorm.  
  
"I.I don't know. We were together a lot, it was probably on her." He says calmly.  
  
"You were upset with Grace..weren't you? For leaving you that is?" This comes from Brass.  
  
"Of course I was upset, my girlfriend broke up with me. I loved her."  
  
"Were you following her?" Brass continues  
  
"What? No I wasn't." Sara is getting increasingly infuriated with the situation. Kevin is calm as can be, not letting any emotion cross his face. She wants to confront him, see if she can force the issue, but she promised Grissom to stay back.  
  
"Did you hit Grace while you where together?" Grissom asks while holding the journal.  
  
"No, never."  
  
"Then why would she say you did in her journal?"  
  
"I don't know, she lying though, I never touched her." He responds, still without any emotion.  
  
Nick has been watching Sara the whole time, and notices her tense up as they get more into the stormy relationship between the victim and suspect. She looks like a cat about to pounce. Another 30 minutes later, with no more information than what they started with, Brass is forced to release the suspect due to lack of evidence. Sara storms out of the observation room, angry because they cant prove anything and makes her way to the restroom. Standing at the sink, Sara looks in the mirror and sees her reflection in the dirty glass, except what she sees is not the Sara of today, but the Sara from her past. The one with a swollen eye and a split lip. "Dammit" she screams and smacks her palms loudly against the edge of the sink bowl. Taking a few more minutes, Sara calms down enough to at least leave the room, as soon as she opens the door, however, she is greeted by Kevin Lasho walking toward her, talking with his attorney, Grissom and Brass are walking slightly ahead, both with grim expressions on their faces. As Kevin passes her, Sara just gives him a hard stare that crumbles most people, he just smiles at her. As she starts to turn away from the group, before she does something rash, Sara feels a hand on her arm.  
  
"Miss Sidle." Kevin says to get her attention.  
  
Sara quickly pulls her arm out of his grasp. "What?" She responds shortly, just being in the same area as this man is enough to get Sara's blood pressure up.  
  
"I told you I didn't have anything to do with this. Why don't you believe me?"  
  
"Because you're an abuser and a liar, and that's all I need to know."  
  
Kevin advances on her slightly, but Sara doesn't move an inch, she refuses to let this man do to her what he did to Grace, intimidate her. By now the rest of the group has noticed the two of them. Grissom quickly moves past Brass and the lawyer to get as close a view as possible, he didn't trust Lasho any more than Sara did.  
  
"I never abused her." He says and leans into Sara, bringing his face almost even to hers.  
  
"Yea, sure you didn't. Why was she so terrified of you then?" Sara asks and closes the gap between them even more. Grissom is watching and notices this is an offensive maneuver on her part, but doesn't intervene, she can take care of herself.  
  
"I don't know, maybe she was scared of disappointing me. I don't know what to tell you Sara, she was a very weak woman." He says, specifically trying to goad her.  
  
"Excuse me? She left you, I think that was very strong of her. I cant imagine what she did that made you think it was ok to beat her up and break her down." Sara says, trying her best not to let the anger come out in her voice.  
  
"Why don't you just mind your own business. She got whatever she deserved." He says the last part quietly so no one but Sara can hear.  
  
Sara just looks at him, the expression on his face one of superiority, he killed Grace, he knows he is getting away with it and there isn't anything she can do to stop him. That is enough for Sara, without even thinking, she brings her fist around and using all the force she can, punches Kevin Lasho square in the face. The sickening sound of his nose breaking reverberates in the hallway. Grissom watches the whole thing unfold, unable to stop her, he doesn't realize what's happening until her fist connects. One part of Grissom's brain is angry at her for letting her anger take control, but a small part of him is also proud of her, he had wanted to do that since meeting the guy.  
  
Kevin grabs his nose and takes a step back to asses the damage, while Sara just stares at him, her expression never changing. Brass, Grissom are all frozen in place for the moment unsure what to do; shocked at what just happened, while his lawyer attempts to approach, but is stopped by the look on Kevin's face. As Kevin pulls a hand away from his face and notices the blood, he looks at Sara, intense rage on his face.  
  
"You BITCH." He screams at her and closes the gap he made, getting the attention of anyone in the vicinity. "You broke my nose."  
  
"Good." She hisses at him, still not moving an inch. "Pick on someone your own size next time and see what happens."  
  
Suddenly, Kevin lunges at Sara, makes contact with her shoulders and shoves her hard into the wall, causing her head to crack against the drywall. For one instant Sara is scared of him, but puts that away, brings her arms up and pushes his hands off her. By then Grissom and Brass have come to her aid and are pulling Lasho back, Brass holds onto him while Grissom rushes over to be sure Sara is alright, his anger temporarily put on the back burner.  
  
"Sara. You ok?" He asks and gives her a once over with his eyes.  
  
She just nods then slides down the wall to the floor, unable to breathe. Grissom starts telling Brass to call an ambulance but a hand on his chest stops him. Looking at her, Grissom feels helpless and doesn't like it.  
  
"I..I just.got ..the wind..knocked.out of..me." She says and smiles at him.  
  
"Ok, just rest there and catch your breath ok?" He says and grabs her hand in his, wanting to make contact with her, feel her warm skin against his. While nothing serious had happened, Grissom realizes the larger man could have done some serious damage had he wanted to. Sara finally breaks the eye contact that started as soon as he kneeled down next to her, closes her eyes and tilts her head back against the wall, trying to get more air into her lungs. Grissom finally takes the opportunity and turns to the man who is screaming as loud as he can what happened while an on-site medic looks at his nose.  
  
"I want her arrested, do you hear me! She assaulted me!" He yells at Brass who is doing his best to contain the aggravated man.  
  
"Sir, calm down. Can I point out that you also assaulted a police officer, so she could file charges against you, and trust me, yours would be more serious. So, why don't we call it a wash and everyone go home? Huh?" Lasho considers Brass's words and finally nods in agreement. Brass looks at Sara, who is also nodding her agreement.  
  
"Good, then, Mr Lasho I suggest you leave, but don't leave the county. From here on in, Sara you are not allowed within 100 yards of Mr Lasho. That's an order, do you understand?" Sara is obviously not pleased but nods again. "Alright then. I suggest you get to a doctor and have that nose looked at. Goodbye Mr. Lasho." Brass says the mans name with obvious distain.  
  
Throwing a nasty look at Sara, Kevin finally leaves the building, still holding his nose. Grissom is still kneeling next to Sara, watching her as she finally starts to breathe normally.  
  
"She ok?" Brass asks  
  
"Yea, she will be fine, thanks for averting a disaster there Jim, I owe you." He says and gives the older man a smile.  
  
"No problem, I wouldn't want Sara going to prison from something I was thinking about doing myself." He says and pats Grissom on the shoulder as he walks away.  
  
When Grissom turns back to look at Sara, she has finally opened her eyes and is looking at him.  
  
"Hey." He says softly, pushing a lock of her hair off her cheek, Sara shudders a bit at the feather light feel of his fingertips on her skin. "Can you get up?"  
  
"Yea." She says and slowly stands with Grissom helping her up with one hand in hers and the other on her lower back. Both of them oblivious to the people walking around them and watching with fascination. Just as Sara gets to standing, the hall starts to spin and she grabs onto Grissom's arm with her free hand. He instantly realizes what's happening and leads her to a bench.  
  
"Ok, maybe that wasn't a good idea." She says with a smile as he sits next to her and touches the back of her head. Sara instinctively pulls her head away from him, without realizing why and immediately regrets doing it. He lets the action go for now and continues to feel the back of her head, finally finding a small bump near the top.  
  
"You have a small bump. How's your head feel?"  
  
"I have a slight headache, that's about it, nothing major." She says and replaces his hand with hers, feeling the bump and grimacing. "Well that probably wasn't the smartest thing I ever did."  
  
"No kidding, what on earth where you thinking? If it wasn't for Brass your ass would be in jail right now for assault. Dammit Sara, you know better than that!" He is finally letting himself get angry at her.  
  
"Grissom, I know. I'm sorry, I just.I don't know what happened." She says and looks down at the floor.  
  
"Sara, I." He starts but is interrupted by Nick coming down the hall at a quick pace.  
  
"Sara, are you ok?" He asks, not noticing the annoyed look on Grissom's face.  
  
"Yes Nick I'm fine. How did you know?"  
  
"One of the lab techs saw you punch the guy." He says and a sly smile comes across his face." How did it feel to hit him?"  
  
She smiled back at him, "Great. Though I learned my lesson, cause damn my hand hurts now." She says and looks at the hand that broke Kevin Lasho's nose. It was covered in blood, probably his, and appears to be swelling.  
  
"Sara, why didn't you mention that earlier?" Grissom asks, annoyed at her for not saying anything.  
  
"It didn't hurt until just now." She responds with a bit of sarcasm.  
  
"Adrenaline wearing off." Nick helpfully provides and looks more closely.  
  
"Nick, will you please grab Sara an ice pack from the medic and bring it to my office?"  
  
"Sure thing Gris." He says to the older man and turns to Sara "Nice going Tyson, remind me not to piss you off." Nick smiles at them and heads down the hall.  
  
Grissom just stares at Sara, whose head is still down, watching her hand while she moves it around to be sure its not broken. He shakes his head at the woman in front of him, they are the same and yet different. They are both introverted, private people with little in the way of a social life, additionally they are each highly intelligent, which tends to put off most people, especially in Sara's case. But it's the difference that draw him to her. Sara wants justice for the victims and uses her emotions to drive her. Grissom does feel, contrary to an accusation she once made, but holds his emotions in check, knowing what they can do, as witnessed today. But he admits its that fire in her, that seemingly never ending supply of energy that makes him want to be around her. 'Her passion', he thinks to himself, 'that's the word'. Sighing, he touches her shoulder and she turns her head to him.  
  
"Come on, lets get to my office and put some ice on that, before you cant even use it. Your handwriting is bad enough without a swollen hand." He says and smiles at her, letting her know he isn't mad.  
  
"Thanks Grissom." She says and starts walking to his office, his hand on her lower back.  
  
tbc.......  
  
Sara punching people seems to be a theme in my fics, so I am thinking I should do it in every one! Someone aptly named it the Sara Sidle Iron Fist (SSIF) so don't be surprised if you see it again! 


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Survivor  
  
Author: csiphile  
  
Disclaimers: on the first paragraph  
  
Notes: Ok, so this took longer than I was expecting, RL did indeed interfere with plans. By the end of the week the end will be posted, cause we are darn close to it! Big thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I appreciate it to no end!!! The song Sara is singing is 'Pretty Baby' by Vanessa Carleton. Love the song and the CD.  
  
  
  
  
  
When they enter his office, Nick is already there waiting for them, ice pack and a damp towel in hand.  
  
  
  
"I was beginning to wonder where you were." He says and sits in front of Sara, perched on Grissom's desk as the other two occupy the chairs. Grissom takes the towel out of Nick's hands and carefully wipes drying blood off Sara's knuckles. When the towel first touches her hand, she winces and slightly pulls back, but Grissom's firm grip doesn't let her get far. Nick is watching with fascination the interaction between them, and becomes increasingly uncomfortable as they ignore him, lost in their own Gil and Sara world.  
  
  
  
"You did a nice job on this Sara. I don't think its broken, but you probably bruised the bone ." He says as he gets the last of the blood off, noticing her knuckles are scraped and now freely bleeding. Grissom applies pressure with the towel to stop the bleeding.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, well, he started it." She says smiling at him. 'God, I could get lost in that smile,' Grissom thinks to himself. Meanwhile, Nick has had enough of being the third wheel and decides to let Grissom handle Sara.  
  
  
  
"Well Gris, looks like you have everything under control. I'll be in the lab."  
  
  
  
"Thanks Nick." Sara says sincerely and watches him shut the door.  
  
  
  
Sara watches Nick close the door and then turns to face Grissom, expecting another lecture about her getting emotionally attached. But when she finally makes eye contact, he doesn't seem angry. She would almost describe his expression as loving, but that couldn't be coming from Grissom.  
  
  
  
"What?" She asks, curious about what he is thinking.  
  
  
  
"Nothing." He says and briefly rethinks himself. "Nothing." He says more firmly.  
  
  
  
"All right, I was expecting a lecture though. But if that's what you where thinking, I will save you the trouble. I am aware what I did was stupid, childish and could have cost the department a lawsuit, in addition to ruining my career. But come on Grissom, you've never wanted to punch a suspect? 'Cause let me tell ya, it feels pretty good." She says and smiles widely at him.  
  
  
  
He smiles slightly at that last part and removes the towel from her hand. The bleeding stopped, but now a nasty bruise is forming over her lower knuckles. Carefully he places the ice pack on her hand, and flinches slightly when she draws in a steep breath at the contact on her skin. Looking up at her again, they make eye contact and say nothing, the electricity again palpable in the air. Finally, Grissom breaks the silence.  
  
  
  
"Keep that on there a while, take some Tylenol and you should be fine by morning."  
  
  
  
"Ok, thank you Grissom. I am sorry, really. I won't be upset if you remove me from the case. I understand." She says and looks down at her hand, placing her left hand on the ice pack to hold it in place.  
  
  
  
Sighing, Grissom looks at her again, not sure what to do. "I'm sorry, but you have to come off the case. I can't have you touching any evidence, it could be brought up later that you contaminated it." She didn't move, still looking at her hands, her face obscured by brown locks of hair that had fallen.  
  
  
  
"Sara." He says, places his fingers under her chin and tilts her head up to him. He can tell she is disappointed about being removed. Carefully he pushes the errant hairs back behind her ear and marvels at the softness of her skin. "Had it felt that way in the hall?" he thought to himself. He couldn't remember.  
  
  
  
"I know Grissom, it's my own fault. I understand, really." She says meaning every word, but still upset she would be unable to help catch Kevin. The more she thought about it, the more upset she became, but didn't want to break down in Grissom's office. She had done enough of that on this case.  
  
  
  
Still staring at Grissom, her thoughts began to wander. She studied his blue eyes, the ones that exude intelligence to her, "Eyes are the windows to the soul," she thought and looked harder at Grissom, trying to read his soul. He is staring back at her with equal intensity, wondering if it is wise to think about Sara in a non-subordinate manner. He has feelings for her, and he can't deny the connection they seem to have with each other. A connection he is sure she can also feel. Should he act on those feeling and that connection, or be politically correct and ignore them? The question had been burning at him for months, since she threatened to quit. While Grissom is having his internal battle Sara has moved her eyes from his and down to his lips, wondering, not for the first time, what they would feel like against hers. But this time is different; they were sitting mere inches from each other, not across the room or even across town. Suddenly she really needs some air, the weight of the day and sitting this close to the man she wants more than anything is baring down on her and the room feels like it is closing in.  
  
  
  
"I.I need some air. Ok?" She says quickly and stands up.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, of course. Do you want to go for a walk?" He asks her, the conversation seems familiar to him, he just can't place it.  
  
She smiles slightly at that memory but shook her head no. "I really need to be alone for a bit. I'll be fine, don't worry."  
  
  
  
"All right. Take the ice pack with you and leave it on a bit longer." He says and stands, walking her out his office door.  
  
  
  
"Yes sir." She responds military style and then smiles at him. "If you need me, I will be lowering my blood pressure in the parking lot. 'Kay?"  
  
  
  
"Ok, just don't be gone too long." He says, knowing perfectly well that she won't be gone any longer than necessary. She nods and heads to the main door, walking to the back of the lot and sitting on the hood of one of the department's Tahoe's. It's quite a challenge for her to get up there with her hand, but she manages. Sara sits on the hood, leaning back against the windshield staring at the night sky. She trys to find the constellations to occupy her mind so it doesn't go down a path she would rather forget. Before she knows it though, thoughts of the victim flood her mind. how terrified she must have been. Sara understood all too well, but she is alive to tell the story. Grace Roberts isn't, she will never graduate, get married, have children or grandchildren, make a home, anything. All because of one man; one man who had to own her, control her and break her down into nothing to make himself feel better. Sara realizes she needs to get off this train of thought, she is getting angry again, which defeats the purpose of even coming out here. Taking a deep breath she looks up into the night sky and starts naming off star systems and stars.  
  
  
  
"Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Polaris, Bootes, summer triangle, Taurus, umh, can't quite remember that one." She is talking aloud and is surprised when a voice asks her a question.  
  
  
  
"Which one?" He asks, and gets up on the Tahoe with her.  
  
  
  
Sara looks at Grissom surprised. She wasn't expecting him to join her, but it's a welcome surprise. "Oh, ah.right there, the brightest star in Orion." She says and points. He leans into her to follow her line of sight and she can smell his shampoo.  
  
  
  
"Rigel." He says and leans back onto the windshield with her.  
  
  
  
"Yes, thank you. It's been a long time since astronomy class." She says and smiles at him.  
  
  
  
"You took an astronomy class?" He asks, moderately surprised.  
  
  
  
"Yep, as a sophomore. It was really interesting actually, a lot of math and physics. I took it for fun." She tells him and turns back to the sky. "It's so peaceful, even in the city, staring up at the stars."  
  
  
  
"That it is." He says without taking his eyes off her. Suddenly Grissom is very aware of his surroundings. They are in the back corner of the lot, in the last row facing empty land behind the station. No one could see them from the building, it is too dark where they are, the truck positioned outside the glow of two lights. The only reason he found her is he was looking. She looks beautiful in the moonlight, usually he sees her in the harsh fluorescent lights of the lab, and sometimes in the sun. Something about the moonlight though, she almost glows, her hair a deeper shade of brown and her skin is almost translucent.  
  
  
  
"What are the three stars that make up Orion's belt?" She suddenly asks and turns to him, catching him in the act of watching her. She holds back a smile at the expression on his face when he realizes what she did.  
  
  
  
"Oh, ummm. Let's see, there is Alnilam, Alnitak and." He trails off and she can see him thinking. Sara waits almost a minute before she becomes impatient and supplies the answer for him.  
  
  
  
"Mintaka." She whispers in his ear and smiles.  
  
  
  
He is surprised at how close she is to him, and while he enjoys her being there, this is getting out of control. That made three times this shift that she has made him start to lose control. He needs a distraction.  
  
  
  
"How's the hand feeling?" He asks nervously and looks down. She looks at him surprised at the sudden change in conversation, but realizes why. She can feel it too.  
  
  
  
"Oh, fine. It doesn't hurt as bad now, thanks." She looks down again at her hands and removes the forgotten ice pack.  
  
  
  
Softly he touches her hand, almost as if to make the scrapes and bruises go away. He can't help himself, as much as his brain is telling him this is a bad idea, his heart says to go for it. For once in his long life, Gil Grissom is going to listen to his heart. Leaning toward her, he moves his hand from hers and up to her face, cupping her cheek carefully. Sara feels him move towards her, and is surprised when a hand comes up and touches her. They carefully move into each other and when their lips meet, it's like a lifetime of want and need are released. Initially the kiss starts out cautious, but once Grissom feels her lips on his, he knows this is right and kisses her more passionately. She returns the kiss just as fiercely, both of them forgetting where they are. Several minutes later, Grissom breaks the kiss reluctantly, though his hand is still making contact with her soft skin. For a moment they just stare at each other, not willing to let the feeling go. Grissom is the first to break the silence.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry." He says, not breaking eye contact with her. He sees the disappointment in her eyes and quickly continues. "Not for what I did, I will never regret that. For the timing. Probably in the parking lot at work after you just punched a suspect is not great timing."  
  
  
  
She gives him a slight smile and nods. "It's ok, I could have stopped you. Besides, when do we ever do anything normally?" She says as her smile turns into a larger grin, revealing the gap in her teeth.  
  
  
  
"How about I correct my mistake and you come over for breakfast after work tonight?" He asks, his eyes never leaving hers. He knows what he is doing.  
  
  
  
"That would be great." She replies.  
  
  
  
"Good. I think we had better get back inside. Wouldn't want anyone to think something is going on." He says and smiles at her.  
  
  
  
Sara just nods and he helps her get off the hood of the vehicle, grabbing her around the waist and depositing her carefully on the ground. Impulsively Grissom looks around, sees no one, leans over and gives her another quick kiss, wishing he could just push her up against the Tahoe and continue what was started on the hood.  
  
  
  
When they enter the labs again, Grissom directs Sara to find Greg and give him a hand as best she can for the remaining hour on the shift as long as the evidence didn't have to do with Lasho. Tomorrow he would reassign her to another case. As they part ways in the hall, Grissom gives her a knowing smile and she responds in kind. Mentally Grissom makes a note that if this continues they need to be more careful at work. If Ecklie ever got wind of anything going on between them, one or both of them would probably be fired and he didn't want that. He knew what the job meant to Sara, as well as himself. Not that anything is going on. Grissom just wants to be sure if something does happen between them, that they are mindful of the problem.  
  
  
  
Grissom buries himself in paperwork for the next hour and a half, hoping that nothing comes of the incident in the hall. Even though Lasho wasn't going to press charges, that didn't mean Ecklie wouldn't suspend her anyway. Looking up and realizing the time and his promise, Grissom grabs his coat and briefcase, turns out the lights and locks his office door. Walking into the locker room, he finds Sara also collecting her things. Making sure no one is in the room before he speaks, Grissom breaks the silence.  
  
  
  
"You ready? I have a promise to keep and breakfast to make."  
  
  
  
Sara turns and looks at him, a large grin covering her face. "Sure am." She says and walks to him, resisting the urge to link her arm in his.  
  
  
  
As they walk out together, only Nick takes notice of the fact that they were both leaving on time and with each other; a strange occurrence for both of them. Smiling broadly, he turns back to the paperwork he is trying to finish. Nick hopes more than anything that something will come of the little comments, touches and looks he had been noticing lately. He thought they were perfect for each other. They were both private, dedicated to work and seemed to have some control issues; plus he knew that no one else would put up with either one of them. A match made in the stars.  
  
  
  
Sara follows Grissom to his townhouse, neither wanting to leave their cars at work for fear of questions. Even if it is only breakfast, they both value their privacy too much. The entire team didn't need to know what is going on in their lives, separately or together. Sara turns on the CD player in the Tahoe, she can't stand the radio, too much talking about nothing and not playing songs, and when they did play songs it was usually stuff Sara didn't listen too. Sara used music as an escape from her job, as a way to unwind, she didn't need to hear Britney Spears. As she waits for the song to play, Sara realizes she does have a diversion, music. Sara snickers at that thought and makes a mental note to tell Grissom. As the song starts to play, Sara quietly sings along to it, turning north onto I- 95 she lets her thoughts drift a bit. These past couple days had been hard on her, harder than she had ever imagined. It had been so long. She thought she could handle it; the emotions, the memories. Apparently not. Sighing, Sara focus' on the music and before she knows it, pulls into Grissom's driveway.  
  
  
  
Getting out of the truck Sara meets up with Grissom at his vehicle and walks a few steps behind him to the door. Grissom holds open the door for her and smiles as she walks by, amazed that she is even there.  
  
  
  
Sara carefully steps into Grissom's townhouse; she had been there once before, when he was suspended, but never since. She looks around and realizes the furniture had been moved. "Is that a new couch?" She thought to herself.  
  
  
  
"New couch?" She asks and moves into the living room, taking off her jacket and laying it on the back of a chair.  
  
  
  
Grissom is taken aback, and if she had been facing him, would have seen the look of shock on his face. "Uh, yeah. I got it a few months ago, the old one was getting uncomfortable. I'm impressed you noticed."  
  
  
  
"Well the other one was.different. This one looks more like a couch and less like airplane seats." She says and finally turns to him, a huge grin on her face.  
  
  
  
He shakes his head and heads to the kitchen after dropping off his briefcase. "Coffee?" He asks.  
  
  
  
"Sure." She replies and goes back to looking at all the butterfly specimens on the wall.  
  
  
  
A few minutes later he walks over to her position and hands her the coffee. Looking at the wall, he wonders which butterfly has her attention.  
  
  
  
"Thanks. This one is beautiful." She says and answers his question. "The colors are magnificent. Such bright greens and reds."  
  
  
  
"Yes they are. That's my favorite one. Omelet ok?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah, that's great. Thank you." She says and follows him to the kitchen, sitting on one of the stools on the opposite side of the island. Watching him work, Sara is reminded of her mother cooking breakfast for guests in their bed and breakfast. Sara focuses on Grissom and before she realizes it, is softly singing the song she was listening to in the car.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You light me up and then I fall for you. You lay me down and then I call for you. Stumbling on reasons that are far and few I let it all come down and then sung for you."  
  
  
  
  
  
Grissom slowly looks up from the green peppers he is slicing and watches as she continues to sing into her coffee, he is pretty sure she has no idea he is listening. So he says nothing and lets her continue. He enjoys hearing her voice, especially when she is singing; it seems to him that's when she is most comfortable and focused.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Pretty baby, don't you leave me I have been saving smiles for you. Pretty baby, why can't you see? You're the one that I belong to. I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm You're the sun that breaks the storm I'll be all right and I'll sleep sound As long as you keep coming 'round. Oh pretty baby.  
  
And I know things can't last forever But there are lessons that you'll never learn. Oh just the scent of you, it makes me hurt. So havin' your love makes me better. "  
  
  
  
  
  
Sara finally looks up and is reminded where she is and promptly blushes. She hadn't meant to do that, sometimes she starts singing and doesn't know why, and this is one of those occasions.  
  
  
  
"Sorry Grissom." She says.  
  
  
  
"No, you have a beautiful voice Sara, you really should sing more." He tells her honestly.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, if you like nails on a chalkboard." She replies, repeating the words she said to Nick once, only this time, there is no belt loop to distract her from the look she is getting from Grissom. To her his expression is one of want, but she hadn't seen that in so long Sara had forgotten what it looked like. Suddenly feeling warm, Sara diverts Grissom's attention from her and onto the food he is making.  
  
  
  
"How 'bout that breakfast? I'm hungry." She says and looks down at the assortment of sliced vegetables on the counter. When she looks back up at him, his expression is what she can only describe as amused.  
  
  
  
"Almost done." He tells her and turns his back to put the omelet together in the pan. Not even five minutes later, a plate is in front of her.  
  
  
  
"This looks delicious Grissom, thank you." She says and places a forkful of food in her mouth.  
  
  
  
Grissom finishes making his and sits next to her at the island. Both of them enjoy the silence as they eat, lost in their own thoughts about where this is going. Sara had wanted to be here for a long time, but now that she is, a weird kind of nervousness overtakes her. A thousand thoughts swirl in her head. Is this simply a breakfast between friends? Or more? And if it is more, is it a good idea? He is her supervisor, at one time her teacher. Is this a mistake? Can she trust him? The last thought made Sara stop cold, she didn't mean to think it, it just came out. Of course she can trust him, she trusted him on a daily basis, and particularly when they were partnered on cases. But that is a trust of her physical well being. Now they are potentially heading into emotional territory, and could she trust him there? For a moment, she isn't sure. Sara can't believe she is actually debating this, but a little part of her is still that frightened twenty- something who had her trust shattered by someone she cared about. Someone she thought cared about her. It is hard for her to reconcile that Grissom and her ex-boyfriend are two different people, and she feels horrible about it. She has known Grissom for years, and he had never done anything to abuse her trust in him. But she has also never had a more intimate relationship with him, and that's what scares her. "No! I will not let this bother me one more minute. Nothing has happened, yet, so quit worrying about nothing." She tells herself and finishes up the eggs, pleased with her internal decision.  
  
  
  
He watches her carefully as she eats, the expression on her facing changing by the second; he imagines she is thinking what he is; where is this going? He knows now what he feels for her. After ignoring it for so long, it took her threatening to leave to push Grissom into action. He finally realized he couldn't lose her, she meant more to him than anyone in his life. Scrutinizing her face, he is taken aback when her eyes suddenly cloud over with what he guesses is an unpleasant memory, it lasts several seconds before she returns to a happier expression and finishes her food. Grissom looks back to his own plate to avoid Sara catching him watching her. He finishes up the last of his eggs and looks at Sara, who is staring at him.  
  
  
  
"Thank you for everything last night Grissom. I owe you and Brass big." She says and smiles at him. "God I loves how she smiles" he thinks for the second time today.  
  
  
  
"No problem. Although we'll see what happens when Ecklie finds out. You could still be suspended." He says with an unhappy look on his face.  
  
  
  
She picks up his plate, places it on top of hers and walks over to the sink. "I know." She says softly.  
  
  
  
"Sara, you don't have to do that." He says as she starts washing the dishes.  
  
  
  
"Yes I do, you cooked, and it's only fair." She says and gives him the patented this-is-not-debatable look of hers. So he watches her work, swiftly washing and drying the few pans and plates they had used. Something about her doing it is very comforting to him, like it is an everyday occurrence. After drying the pans, Sara begins to put things away, without even thinking twice she opens the correct cabinets for the plates and cups, the pans, and finally the silverware drawer. Grissom watches her without hesitation put away his things, knowing where each item goes, even though she hadn't seen him remove any of it. While that frightened him a little, it also embolden him to approach her as she stands rinsing out the sink. Coming to a stop inches behind her, he takes a deep breath and jumps into the deep end.  
  
tbc....soon, I promise 


End file.
